I came here. He made me come. I never wanted to. And I
waited right up to the last moment before coming. Then, it just got to where
time was almost up for the human experiment. This Age would soon be over.
Everyone had come but me. I was the last hold-out.
I didn’t want to leave … I freely admit that. After all,
you’re asking me to leave Heaven with its streets of gold and massive palaces
and Angelic Beings traveling to and fro. So much activity but so well-orchestrated
and beautiful. It was like poetry flowing across puffs of clouds with harps
playing in the background. There was nothing dark or ugly there.
Now contrast it with earth. First of all, Earth is made of
dirt and water. The humans are too but they don’t look like it. Matter of fact,
Earth doesn’t either. It’s actually quite a beautiful planet. You can see the
magnificent thought and artistry that went into every hill and river.
Most of us believe it was God’s best work. I’ve held back my
judgements on the topic. And since I was the last one to leave, I was the last
one who knew. Such is the sad tale of the laggard, the lazy man, the
procrastinator. Of course, we all have flaws. Yours may not cost you eternity,
but I bet they’re pretty annoying.
So here I am. I came, I lived here, and it’s almost over. It
wasn’t much to write home about. I grew up in a dysfunctional home, had low
esteem, struggled to find myself, married the wrong guy, had the wrong child
and lived the wrong life. I found so much violence and hatred that it kept me
upset all the time. I never could get over that feeling that the world was
doomed. It was actually … from the very start. But that’s another story, for
another time.
The Creators have the right to do what they want with the
creation. Don’t ever doubt that!
Having said that, I think my whole journey was greatly
skewed by the fact that I never got over being pissed about having to come in
the first place. I mean … How long can you stay mad at someone? It does no one
any good to stay mad for 100 years. Trust me—been there, done that.
I got some help while I was here—I will say that. And I
don’t minimize the value of that help. But it was still some miserable shit. I
say that with all reverence recalling that I just noted that the humans and the
Earth were His Best Creations. Don’t know how this is possible but we were the
best and the worst idea God ever had!
But on with my story. Parts of my life weren’t that bad. In
my late twenties, we discovered canoeing and camping and spent the weekends
canoeing some amazing rivers in south Texas. There were so many big campfires,
grilled steaks, bottles of wine. There was so much laughter. Every day was a
surprise. The world was so lovely … perfectly in balance during those years.
At the end of your life, those are the memories that should
stand out the most … not the ugly, bitter, angry things. That’s the way it was
with me anyhow. I couldn’t spend my whole life being disappointed and forget
those few brilliant moments.
But before I go, I feel like I must leave behind a few notes
for whoever might come after me, for those curious souls who remain. Imagine
someone stuffing a long, but somewhat entertaining note into a bottle and
casting it out across the stars. This is the thought behind this new blog: Life
at the Speed of Sound.
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